Suki Blue Fiction

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Chapter 11

The movie was okay, at least the parts Xander had paid attention to. Which weren’t that many. The trouble, you see, was the vampire sitting next to him in the back row.

Xander tried to cast another glance Spike’s way. It was tricky to do without moving his head or eyes. But somehow, through pure teenage will alone, Xander managed it. At least he thought he had.

Spike leaned towards him, his eyes still firmly fixed on the volcanic eruptions spilling across the movie screen. “What?” he said distractedly.

“What?” Xander said back. “I didn’t say anything.”

Spike leaned again. “Your brain’s clonking. Watch the film.”

“I am watching it,” Xander said, a little too loudly and prompting several ‘shushes’ from the other patrons.

A pale hand scooped up some popcorn from the bucket in Xander’s lap. “I see what you mean about Tommy Lee Jones. Not bad, is he?”

“Uh, yeah.”

Xander had made it perfectly clear, under the threat of an ass-kicking, that Spike was to keep his hands to himself, watch the film and not make any trouble. Spike had agreed. He’d promised.

And, so far, he was keeping that promise.

That was goodness incarnate. Greatness. It was just the way Xander wanted it.

Kinda.

Seriously, though, the last thing Xander wanted was to publicly fight off Spike’s wandering hands. Even in the darkness of a movie theatre there was a chance that someone might see, someone that he knew or that knew him. He could only imagine the horror of someone from school catching him in a clinch with another man.

He was gay. He knew he was. Internal Xander was happy to admit it. External Xander, on the other hand, was in full denial. The thought of being publicly outed terrified him.

Too many years of teasing and bullying and name-calling and smack-downs and humiliations and practical jokes had pulled something of the real Xander inside himself, and what was left on the outside was a smart mouth and a mask that covered his whole being.

Defence was all he had left and even that would threaten to fail under the assault of the entire school calling him a fag.

So, yeah, Spike was behaving and that was all good. But…

Xander plunged a hungry hand into the bucket and met up with another. The backs of their fingers brushed and it sent a tingle straight up Xander’s arm, through his shoulder, down his spine and right down to his toes. Spike winked at him and went back to watching the film.

It was enough. Xander hid his smile before he blinded the whole theatre with his shiny white teeth and, for the first time, he watched the movie.

**

“So, uh, Angel is really helping you find Drusilla?” Xander asked. The movie had finished an hour before and now he and Spike were taking a leisurely walk in the general direction of Xander’s home.

“Yep,” Spike answered.

“Huh.” Xander’s expression was disbelieving. “Doesn’t sound much like Angel.”

“You reckon? I thought now he was all souled up he was all Friendly Neighbourhood Vampire.”

“Oh, he is. When it suits him. And when it doesn’t involve any actual effort on his part. He’s more like this mysterious stranger that shows up with warnings and stuff.”

“You really don’t like him much, do you?”

Xander shook his head. “He’s annoying and I hate him.”

Spike bobbed his head and pulled a cigarette out of a pack with his mouth. “But he’s a good guy,” he argued. “I would have thought that would give him full access to your little ‘Scooby Gang’.”

Xander laughed. “Scooby Gang. I like that. And I’m sure it gives him full access to some things. But I don’t trust him. It’s, like, he’s got this soul now, whatever that actually is, and everyone thinks that makes him good.”

“And you don’t?” Spike asked. “Why?” He was genuinely curious.

“Well, he has this conscience now and he’s all mopey about what he did in the past. But that doesn’t necessarily mean he’s good now. He’s still got to prove that. Well, that’s what I think, anyway, not that it counts for much.”

“The Slayer’s smitten, though, eh? I suppose there’s not much you can say.”

“Oh, I say plenty, believe me. I just have to choose my digs carefully, you know? A few snide comments here and a glare there. Sometimes I think I make him uncomfortable.”

Spike snorted. “Congratulations.”

“Hey, I take my victories where I can. They’re short lived and often reflect badly on me but they’re all mine.”

“Still think you fancy him,” Spike said. It sounded more like a complaint than an observation.

“I do not! Why do you keep saying that?”

“Pet, if he had pigtails you’d be pulling them. Face it. You fancy him.”

“I don’t! Okay, he’s handsome in a Neanderthal type way, and he’s kinda tall and he’s strong and has these really nice muscles. And yeah, I’m gay and a teenager and stupid, and I’m just starting to find my stupid, teenage, gay feet, so maybe I do think he’s attractive. But that’s as far as it goes. He’s not my type. Not that I have a type. And please don’t tell anyone about the gay thing.”

Spike took hold of Xander’s arm and stopped them both. “Am I your first?”

Xander hesitated. “First what?”

“You know what. First bloke. First kiss.”

Xander thought about denying it, but he had this sneaking suspicion that Spike would argue with him. He nodded instead.

Spike grinned. “Wouldn’t mind being your second either.”

“Second?”

“Kiss,” Spike clarified.

There was a temptation to say no, an urge to deny what he was feeling, shun Spike and go back to the safety of lusting after Buffy’s chest. But that wasn’t him anymore. Damn it.

“You’re a vampire,” Xander said instead.

Spike scratched his head and laughed. “You are a weird one. No prize for pointing out the obvious, luv.”

Xander sighed and noticed for the first time that he was standing outside his house. “It’s just that…you’re evil. You kill people.”

“But you still want me,” Spike said.

“I decided that I’m gonna do some extra curricular reading. I wanna know more about the Hellmouth and vampires and demons. I’m tired of not really knowing what I’m doing.”

Spike nodded, completely understanding that. There was nothing worse than being in the dark, than not knowing what was happening around you. “Let me guess, I’m right on the top of your reading list?”

It was Xander’s turn to nod.

“Hope you’ve got a strong stomach, luv. It ain’t gonna be pretty,” Spike said.

“I kinda gathered that already.”

“Yeah, well. I am what I am, pet. Still, makes more sense to have that second kiss now, then.”

The slow smile that spread over Spike’s face made Xander roll his eyes and cross his arms. “And how did you work that out, exactly?” he asked.

“Well, stands to reason, doesn’t it? I wanna kiss you. You wanna kiss me. Makes sense to do it now, ‘cause after you’ve read those books you ain’t gonna come near me with a ten foot pole. So pucker up, luv.”

Spike had a very good point. But there was no way he was going to ‘pucker up’ in full view of all the neighbours. He checked over his shoulder and turned back to Spike with a grin.

“What are you grinning…oi!” Spike staggered forward as Xander grabbed a handful of
his duster and hauled him towards the house. A last minute diversion left them standing around the side, concealed by a shrub that was in desperate need of a good pruning.

Xander’s mouth descended before Spike even had time to blink. It was a clumsy kiss, all wet lips and insistent tongue, but it burned hot and Spike had to pity any man or woman who would never have a taste of this human. Then Xander’s hands were everywhere, searching and gripping, feeling and wanting.

The kiss left them both breathless and grinning. “Nice one,” Spike said, holding Xander against the wall and kissing him again. He gripped Xander hips and rubbed against him. “Want more.”

Xander groaned, partly because of the growing sensations inside his pants and partly because he was frustrated. He shook his head. “Can’t.”

“Why?” Spike pushed. “No one will see. Come on, luv. Know you want more too.”

“No, Spike, I can’t. I…I’m not ready.” He wrenched his head away when Spike tried to kiss him again.

Spike fixed him with a serious look and bent his head down to mouth Xander’s neck. He rotated his hips again. “Feels like you’re ready,” he observed. “I could just take what I want.” He lifted his head and stared at Xander with a challenging expression.

Xander wasn’t stupid. He didn’t know Spike’s background yet, but he did know what a vampire was capable of. He also knew that he’d just got this vampire hot and bothered and then refused him. Spike’s erection pushed against his own and he fought the urge to moan and drop to his knees and take that cock in his mouth.

“Right here, right now,” Spike went on. He whispered in Xander’s ear, “No one would even hear you scream.”

Scream with pain or with pleasure, Xander wasn’t sure. Maybe both. But one thing was for sure, he was dangerously close to finding out. “You wouldn’t do that to me.” His voice quivered with uncertainty.

“Do what?” Spike asked, his voice so quiet Xander could barely hear. “Rape you?”

Xander studied Spike’s face carefully. The pale features gave nothing away. “You wouldn’t,” he said again.

A tender hand stroked down his face and Xander trembled at the sudden gentleness of it. “No,” Spike said, “I wouldn’t.”

Xander closed his eyes as Spike kissed him one last time. It went on and on and on, slow and deep and filled with a tiny shadow of something approaching desperate. And when Xander opened his eyes again, Spike was gone.

TBC…