Suki Blue Fiction

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Chapter 26

 
Xander and Willow watched Buffy climb into her father’s car.

“Personal question?” Willow asked.

Xander watched the car pull away. “Yeah, shoot.”

“When Buffy was a vampire, you weren’t, like, still attracted to her, were you?”

It was moments like these when Xander was seriously tempted to just tell his best friend he was gay. But it wasn’t that simple anymore, was it? He’d spun himself a little web of lies and now the truth would probably feel more like a betrayal. Sorry, Willow. I’m not attracted to you. I’m gay. I’m thinking gay thoughts and having gay sex – kind of - with another gay guy. Who is also a vampire. “Willow, how can you...? I mean, that's really bent! She was...grotesque!”

“Still dug her, huh?”

“I’m sick, I need help.” And wasn’t that the truth.

“Don’t I know it? Hey, want to come home for dinner?” Willow asked. “My mom’s doing lasagne.”

“Uh, rain check? I got some stuff I need to do.”

“Really? Like what?”

Xander thought quickly. He was actually planning to visit Spike now that his nightmare day – literally - at school was over. He wondered what Spike’s worst nightmare was. It seemed that everyone in Sunnydale had fallen victim; it stood to reason that Spike and Angel would have been affected, too. “Three weeks’ worth of homework?”

“Got it. Sure you don’t need a hand? I can be Study Buddy.”

“Nah, it’s okay. It’s not difficult or anything. I just didn’t do it. Slacker Boy.”

Willow smiled kindly at him. It was a look of fond exasperation that quickly took on a note of concern. “Are you sure everything is okay? You haven’t been yourself lately.”

“Me? Not myself? You must be thinking of a different me. My evil twin!” He knew she wouldn’t buy the brush off, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t try.

“Xander.” And that was all she needed to say.

Xander sighed deeply. “Look, I swear there’s nothing wrong. I’m cool.”

Willow shook her head. “No, I know there’s something, Xander Harris. You can’t fool me. Well, not much. Is it your dad? Is he drinking again?”

“Wills, my dad will drink until the day his liver fails him. It’s not that.”

“A-ha!” Willow exclaimed, a little too loudly. She lowered her voice when several people looked at her like she was a crazy person. “So there is something.”

There were several somethings, but nothing that he could tell his best friend. “There’s nothing. At least nothing life threatening. Teenage…manly stuff.”

“Anything I can help with?”

Xander shot her a doubtful expression. “Uh, that would be a no. A big no. It’s fine, Wills. I’m fine.”

She nodded at him, not entirely convinced. “But you’ll tell me if you do need help?”

Would he? If he really needed it? “Of course. Now, are we gonna go our separate ways so I can get started on my mountain of homework or are we gonna stand here until I flunk completely?” He grinned to let her know he was joking and she grinned back.

It was the start of the weekend, Xander’s favourite time of the week. Officially, the weekend began the moment the bell rang and school finished. He really did have homework, too, a great deal of it, but he also wanted to get in plenty of time with Spike and do some extra curricular reading in the form of two more books Giles had lent him; they weren’t the most exciting books in the world, but Xander hoped to gain a few more smarts from them.

“Maybe see you tomorrow night?” Willow asked.

“Yeah, maybe.”

They said their goodbyes and Xander started toward the mansion. He could at least tell Willow about all the books he was reading and about how he wanted to make a bigger contribution to the group, but he was afraid. Maybe he was scared about balloon tying, make-up wearing circus freaks, but having his friends look at him like he was worthless was so much worse. The thought that Willow might look at him like he was a silly child made him feel sick. He’d always been a loser so why he wasn’t completely used to being treated like one was anyone’s guess.

Xander spent most of the walk in deep thought. He detoured away from the mansion, school and his home and let his mind wander. There were thoughts inside his head and he needed to think about them to get past them.

He hated it when people looked down at him. It wasn’t that Willow ever did that, or Giles or Buffy, but he was scared that they would. He was always scared of that and he knew damn well that it made him defensive.

But he knew Spike would never look at him like that.

When Xander had seemingly walked an entire circuit of Sunnydale, the mansion came into sight and he perked up.

He and Spike hadn’t really had many conversations that Xander could have called deep, but he still knew Spike would understand. They had a connection.

The mansion was dark inside and Xander immediately went into his own personal version of stealth mode. He crept in the door and nearly died of a heart attack when he suddenly spotted Angel.

“Oh, hey.” Xander shifted uncomfortably. “You’re up…early. Or possibly late.”

Angel looked up at him from the couch and for a split second Xander wanted to jump back.

“Are you okay? You look…”

“I’m fine. Spike’s upstairs.” Angel turned haunted eyes back to the wall. His complexion was even paler than normal, his face drawn and lips pressed into a thin, hard line.

Xander stepped closer. “Angel-”

“Leave. Me. Alone.”

“Okay.” Xander stopped advancing and backed away towards the stairs, his eyes fixed on Angel. He’d never seen him so still and Xander felt a chill climb his spine, like he was waiting for a dead body to jerk and reanimate.

When he reached the stairs, Xander turned and took them two at a time. He wasn’t running; he was just using the stairs efficiently. He jogged along the hallway, only glancing over his shoulder once. Spike’s door was partly open, so Xander knocked softly and peered around it. “Hey,” he whispered.

Never spook a sleeping vampire, Xander had decided a long time ago. If cats were anything to go by, it could only end badly. Xander remembered that from the time he’d accidentally sat on his mom’s hairdryer and received a face full of surprised and sharp grumpy cat.

“Hello, luv.” Spike sat up. By the looks of things he’d been awake and was just propped up against a pillow, fully clothed, picking at his black nail polish.

“Hi. Am I disturbing?”

“Well, you are a little bit disturbing, but I’m not bothered.” Spike crossed his legs and leaned forward, patting the bed in front of his legs. “Pull up a pew. Nightmare day?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe.”

“Don’t be so sure. Everyone get affected, did they?” Spike asked when Xander had settled cross-legged on the bed opposite him.

Xander nodded. “Pretty much. What did you see?”

Spike shrugged casually and leaned back against the pillows. “Not a lot. A whole lot of nothing, actually.”

“What does that mean?”

“I woke up and everyone was gone. Not a bloody soul in sight. Right lonely, it was. Quiet.”

“That sucks,” Xander said.

“Tell me about it. I wondered why the day was suddenly night so I went out to take a gander and I couldn’t see no fucker anywhere. Not a soul. Or a demon.” Spike flapped one hand dismissively. “What about you?”

“Nazis and killer clowns.”

Spike’s eyes widened. “Nazis I can deal with – been there, done that – but clowns?” He shuddered and gestured for Xander to join him against the pillows. “That’s as bad as a world full of nobody.”

“And the only thing worse than both would be a world full of clowns,” Xander said as Spike’s arm slipped around him.

“Oi, enough with the nightmares.”

“Sorry.”

“So, Slayer get it sorted, did she?” Spike asked. “Whatever it was.”

“She did. And I helped. Our nightmares are over. What did Deadboy see, by the way?”

Spike quirked an eyebrow at the name but smirked when Xander looked back at him, unrepentant. “He won’t say. Nearly got my head taken off when I asked.”

“Maybe he woke to find himself in a world full of happy. That would have to bum him out.”

“Maybe.” Spike smiled against Xander’s neck and kissed him. “What do you want to do tonight?” he asked, shifting his arms to rest around Xander’s waist.

“Anything but demon hunting. I still can’t get that green stuff off my sneakers. I had to tell my mom I stepped in paint.”

“We could stay in,” Spike suggested, his hands beginning to wander. “Plenty to do indoors.”

A cry of frustration and a crash of glass hurtled up from the floor below. Both Spike and Xander jumped.

“Or not,” Spike finished. “Reckon someone’s in a bad mood. Go out for some nosh, shall we? Pizza?”

“Perfection. Let’s go before he starts breaking necks.”

“He won’t,” Spike assured. He slipped on his duster and scooped up a wad of notes from the nightstand. “Just don’t fancy listening to him being a misery guts all evening. Pizza then? Got somewhere in mind?”

Xander jumped again at the sound of something else shattering. “You’re paying, right?”



**



“How is that heap of junk still going?” Xander asked as a nice young waitress seated them.

“Hey, watch what you say about my precious.” Spike glanced at the menu. “Beer for me, Coke for him.” He handed back the drinks menu and gave the waitress a charming smile.

“Your precious? Okay, you clearly have issues.”

“I can’t help it if I love my car.”

“Your stolen car,” Xander reminded.

Spike shrugged and glanced around the room. It was a pizza joint; nothing more, nothing less. It was clean, reasonably priced and had quaint chequered table cloths and too-bright fluorescent lights. It was the sort of place you found in a small town like Sunnydale. “Same difference.”

“Maybe you should get a new car. And note that I said get and not steal. The last thing you want is the cops pulling you over.”

Spike shrugged again. “I could just eat them. Joking,” he added when Xander scowled at him. “I’ll just change the plates.”

“You’re a model citizen.”

Spike didn’t bother to reply. Xander looked cuter than normal tonight: his hair was falling softly over his eyes and his lips looked plump and moist, just right for licking and kissing. Spike ignored the waitress as she placed their drinks on the table, choosing to stare at Xander instead and wonder what it would be like to fill him up.

“What?” Xander asked when the waitress had wandered aimlessly away.

“Nothing,” Spike said as picked up his drink and took a sip. “Just thinking how gorgeous you look.”

“Yeah, well, no acting on it. Some of my…non-friends from school are here.”

“Don’t worry, pet. Promise not to touch. Yet.”

Xander blushed and looked down at the pizza menu. Spike suspected Xander already knew what he was going to order, but it was cute to watch him being all bashful.

Spike liked cute things and he wasn’t afraid to admit it. He was the big bad, a force to be reckoned with and he didn’t need to prove his manhood. Xander was cute and he gave Spike a wibbly feeling deep down in his tummy. If anyone had a problem with that they could just bend over and receive a railroad spike up their fucking arse.

“Do you think Angel is okay?” Xander asked. “He’s not gonna go Psycho Vamp on us, is he?”

“Unlikely. Although it’s probably best to stay away, especially me. You’d probably be alright, but I’m more likely to get a punch in the face.”

Xander winced in sympathy. “I guess his nightmare must have been pretty bad. The busybody in me kind of wants to know what it was.”

Spike laughed. “Yeah, me too. I reckon I could probably take a wild guess, though.”

“Really? What do you think it was?”

The one thing Angel feared above all else was the killing. Not the kind that other people did, but the kind he did himself. The thought of going back to his old ways was something that probably plagued Angel’s nightmares even on a non-supernatural day. “He ran out of hair gel, probably.”

Xander gave him an expression that said he hadn’t quite swallowed the lie, but was going to let it go anyway.

The door to the restaurant swung open and a gaggle of teenagers roughly Xander’s age crashed in, laughing and giggling.

“Oh, great,” Xander said.

“I take it you know them.”

Xander nodded. “Unfortunately so. They go to my school.” His voice dropped to a whisper. “See the bulky guy? That’s Larry. We sort of don’t really get on.”

Spike lifted an eyebrow. “Meaning?”

“He’s a jock. Captain of the football team and one of most popular guys in school. And I’m a loser. Feel free to do the math.”

“You’re not a loser. He tell you that, did he?” Spike narrowed his eyes and growled. He kept it deep and low and the only person who heard it was the vamp sitting in the corner booth with his human date and future meal.

“Now, Spike, you promised you wouldn’t do the murdering or maiming thing.”

“Can I slap him?”

“No, you can’t. Please don’t start anything.”

“Doesn’t smack you about, does he?” He hoped Xander would say no, because if he said yes nothing would hold Spike back and Xander’s little chum was going head-first through the window, promise or no promise.

“Of course not,” Xander said.

The denial came too quickly and Spike’s lethal gaze snapped to Xander. “I’m not sure I believe you,” he said, his teeth baring ever so slightly.

Xander visibly paled and Spike knew he was going to feel guilty later for making Xander feel like that, but he knew a lie when he heard one.

“Okay, he nearly did once, but it was only once and it didn’t even connect.” When Spike was silent, Xander went on. “I swear. You can ask Angel; he was there. Actually, he was the one who prevented my humiliation from reaching epic proportions. Which was also humiliating. Big day for me and my embarrassment factor.”

Spike started to relax. He’d always been possessive and protective; it was just in his nature. And as corny as it sounded, Xander was his and it was Spike’s job to protect him. Goodness knows Xander needed someone in addition to his useless parents. Were they even feeding him properly? Xander clearly loved his parents, but Xander was that type of person; he was happy and loving and affectionate and maybe that wasn’t always a good thing.

Spike made sure no one was looking and patted Xander’s hand. “Order up, luv. Anything you like.”

There was a lot to sort out and maybe if Xander had a bit more confidence he wouldn’t get picked on by the likes of Barry or whoever.

“Snit over?” Xander checked warily.

Spike nodded at him. “Well and truly. Don’t get the garlic bread, there’s a luv.”

But there were more pressing matters at hand. Spike watched the vamp from the corner leave with its happy meal. What if one of those fuckers ever got hold of Xander? What if they got hold of one of Xander’s little friends? Spike couldn’t bear the thought of his boy in pain.

The Master needed to go down, and go down quickly. Spike didn’t really need the hassle of filling his position, but maybe he’d give it a trial and keep the general vamp population away from Xander. That needed to happen sooner rather than later so Spike made the decision to scope out his mission tonight. He’d wasted enough time. He would take Xander home then head over to the Master’s lair.

Spike grinned to himself and decided to order whatever Xander did.

Just so long as it didn’t have pineapple.



TBC…