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Batman checked behind him.
He’d been lurking behind the parked Batmobile for two hours and there was no sign of Xander…erm, criminal activity. He wasn’t waiting for that idiotic boy.
Nope.
As promised, he’d sent Nightwing to fix the kid’s car, so carefully calculated logic told him that Xander had already skedaddled out of town.
How would one skedaddle? A mixture of skipping and dawdling? Skating and daddling? How would one daddle? Dance and paddle?
The bank opposite was robbed and three people were shot. Well, not actually shot. The robbers used bananas wrapped partially in old shirts to disguise them. Three of the robbers had gotten over-excited and some innocent bystanders had been on the receiving end of a nasty gush of projectile banana smoosh.
Batman checked behind him again.
So, Xander had obviously paddled out of town without so much as a goodbye or a parting Hershey bar.
Fine.
Whatever.
He didn’t care. He had more important things to do, like watching for…what was he doing again? Oh, yeah, watching for criminal activity.
Batman heaved a sigh that would have been deadly silent if it hadn’t been for the noise.
A runaway truck with a hundred pounds of explosives taped to the top sped passed.
Well, there wasn’t much happening here. Perhaps it was time to move. Maybe Xan…criminal activity would be somewhere else.
Robin swung by and waved. For some reason, he was covered in banana.
And where the hell was Robin tonight? Just like him to…be fighting crime elsewhere.
Batman checked behind him. Maybe Xander had to go home suddenly but would be back in Gotham soon? Not that he cared. Not at all. He just liked to know who was moving in and out of his city.
He didn’t care in the slightest. The last thing he needed was some kid hanging around, bugging him while he was trying to work. And he certainly didn’t need another sidekick. Two Robins at once would get very confusing. Although maybe another bird related name would work. The Sparrow? Or was that already taken? Thrush? No, that was also a venereal disease. Blue Tit? Hmm, many be he should steer clear of European birds. The Swallow? Now, this was just getting rude.
“Hey.”
Batman jolted out of his not-so-wholesome thoughts at the sound of Xander’s voice. “Hey. I was just thinking about you,” he said.
Xander’s smile was bashful and pleased. Just like the dwarf and his lesser known cousin. “Yeah? What were you thinking?”
“About swallowing.”
“Huh?”
“I meant wallowing. I hoped you weren’t wallowing. In a mud bath.”
“Oh. Okay. I thought you said following. Like, you were thinking that I was following you. Or you were following me. Which neither of us are. So, yeah, wallowing does kinda make more sense. Sort of. In a way. Huh? Why would I be in mud bath?”
Batman resisted the urge to flail his arms and meep. Instead, in a moment of total panic, he lifted his arm and pointed. “Look! Christian Bale!”
Xander turned in disbelief. “What, that psycho? No way.” When he turned back, Batman was gone.
At least Batman would have been gone if he hadn’t caught his cape in the Batmobile door earlier in the evening and not realised. Instead, he fell on his ass and badly scratched his paintwork.
“Are you okay?” Xander asked.
“Dandy.”
“Oh, I never read that. I prefer the Beano. You change the subject a lot, don’t you?”
“Is there any chance this isn’t happening?”
“Nope. You definitely shut your cape in the door and you’re definitely on your ass. Don’t worry. I do stupid things all the time. Wanna see? It’ll make you feel better.”
Batman waved an arm in the air in defeat. “Be my guest.”
Xander took a deep breath, crouched down and kissed him. With Tongue.
The kiss left Batman breathless. Xander’s lips were soft, like ripe fruit, and his kiss tasted like fresh, spring air laced with coffee, chocolate and… “Have you been eating cinnamon?”
“Oh, yeah, that would be my gum. Um, could I have it back?”
TBC…
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Suki Blue Fiction