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Chapter 4

“I still can’t believe he knows,” Xander whispered over the top of his book.

Angel glanced up and then around the room until he spotted Giles leaning against the counter, nose deep in the biggest tome that Angel had ever seen. “I guess he really does watch. Are you sure you didn’t say anything to him? Anything at all?”

“No. Definitely not. I was very careful; very. In fact, careful was my middle name there for a while. The Lavelle? Went straight out the window.”

Yes, it was true. Xander had indeed been very careful. He’d been very careful not to tell Giles that he was boinking Buffy’s ex. And he’d been very careful not to mention that sex with Angel was hot, hot, hotter than Willy’s Flaming Hot ‘Chicken’ Wings. His visits to the city were explained by Spike’s relationship with Cordy plus the fact that Xander and Spike were more or less glued together like a table top to one of its legs. Yep, wherever Spike went, his bestest friend in the whole wide world, Xander, went too. And vice versa, of course.

So how did Giles know? Xander wondered if he was that transparent.

“Okay, patrol done. A total of three vamps done and dusted and not even one nail broken. Now, that’s what I call a successful mission. Is there pizza left?”

Buffy closed the door to the Magic Box behind her and grinned as everybody silently pointed to the remaining pizza on the counter.

“I can’t believe you actually managed to leave her some, pet,” Spike muttered as he took the seat on the other side of Xander.

“That would be the guilt talking, or eating. Or not eating. My appetite is kinda ruined.”

“Never thought I’d see the day.”

Angel frowned and put down his book. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. Neither do I. Well, except for the gruesome deaths of thousands of…”

“…miniature horses,” Buffy finished.

At Angel’s and Xander’s quizzical looks and Spike’s snort of amusement, Buffy swallowed another bite of pizza and shrugged. “What? I was talking to Willow.”

“Yes,” Giles said with a sigh. “And while I’m almost certain that your tale of shrunken animals was a most relevant one, could we all get on?”

“Geeze, Giles. Grumpy much?” Buffy sat down at the table with a bump and automatically reached for the nearest book. “Do we have anything in English? Or preferably American? I don’t know what the hell this is all about.”

Xander smiled and leaned over the table, taking Buffy’s book and swapping it with the one he’d been reading.

“Thanks, Xand.”

“Welcome, Buff. And see, I even got part way though it for you.”

“Oh, I have a head start! You’re the best Slayerette ever,” Buffy teased.

Xander attempted a chuckle, but it sank and died a grisly death at the hands of his guilt.

“What’s up, Xanny?” Buffy asked. “You look…kinda guilty. Are you okay?”

“I’m…”

“Did you spend all your pay check at Sideshow again? Did they get in the Deep Space 5 collector’s plates finally? You bought them all, didn’t you?”

“Every last one,” Xander said, overly loud and over cheery. He didn’t even bother trying to correct her that it was Deep Space *9*. And hey, he *had* actually bought all the Deep Space 9 collector’s plates, so it wasn’t like he was actually lying.

“Bad Xander,” Buffy giggled.

Xander nodded in false cheer and turned back to his newly acquired book. His guilt, palpable as it was, was just going to have to sit on the back burner and grow mould until the world was, once again, safe from the perils of ridiculous books that were old enough to know better. Xander nodded inwardly and felt suddenly better and stronger.

“Yes, “Angel agreed. “Very, *very* bad Xander.”

And he felt unexpectedly firmer too. “Umm…”

“Angel,” Buffy chided. “I’m sure Xander has a little tucked away somewhere.”

“I’m sure he has a lot tucked away somewhere.” The smirk on Angel’s face was classic Spike and Xander was left wondering who had actually learned it from whom.

“I bet he does,” Spike said with a casual look that was not doing that great of a job of hiding his amusement. “So, Xan. Wanna tell us all about what you’ve got stashed away? Angel’s pretty good at all that stuff. You might want to let him take a look at your assets.”

Xander glared.

“What? It was only a suggestion,” Spike said innocently.

“Perhaps a suggestion about our current problem would be more appropriate at this time, Spike, hm?”

“Yeah, alright, Watcher. Spoil a bloke’s fun, why don’t you.”

Xander shifted in his seat and tried to ignore the look Angel was giving him without actually *looking* at him. Okay, so that didn’t actually make in sense, but he couldn’t exactly blame himself for that. Angel’ teasing and his beautiful fingers moving sensuously over ancient pages in a manner that was clearly erotic… Okay, so he probably could have been using those same fingers to fish a gherkin out of a burger and Xander still would have found it entrancing. But anyway, that plus the fact that Spike *knew* that he had an erection that was just begging for Angel to take his wonderful, talented, gherkin retrieving fingers and touch him was starting to fry his brain.

He just hoped to god that there wasn’t a fire. Well, it wouldn’t matter if there was because there was no way on this earth that he was moving from his seat. Nope, he’d just have to burn.

“Willow, have you managed to find anything on a stronger binding spell?”

Willow shook her head without looking up from the page. “But I did find a spell to turn water into wine and fish into fish cakes, although that last one might just be a recipe. It was scribbled in the front of the book.”

Giles closed his eyes and wondered what he’d done to deserve his life. “Oh, dear me. Somebody give me some sort of strength.”

“Strength,” Xander repeated. He put down and book and paused in thought. “Huh.” He went to get up and then realised that his current personal problem was still partly hanging about. He concentrated hard and tried to picture Wesley in a nightgown and swimming cap. That did the trick and Xander was finally able to stand and wander away from the table. To the untrained eye it looked as though he was in a daze. But Spike and Angel knew better.

“Batboy’s onto something,” Spike explained at Buffy’s questioning look.

“Oh. He’s on to something – apparently,” Buffy repeated to a worried looking Giles.

“Xander, do be careful up there. Those books are very dangerous.”

“I know,” a distracted voice drifted down. “Just wanna…” The drifting voice drifted off.

Angel - satisfied that Xander knew what he was doing - turned back to his book. This was useless. He and Giles both knew damn well that they weren’t going to find a thing. They were simply going through the motions for lack of knowing what else to do. Information on The Books of Damnation was scarce at best. Angel only knew of one single text that maybe held more information than ‘love will find a way’. But finding it? That was another thing entirely.

Angel snapped his book shut and abruptly stood up from the table. “I have to call Wesley,” he announced, as he marched behind the counter and reached for the phone.

“Thought he was sick,” Spike said, without looking up.

“He is.”

“So, you’re going to drag the poor fellow out of bed, eh? That’s the plan?”

“Yes. I need a specific text. I’m hoping he can help me track it down.”

“Poor bloke.”

“It can’t be helped, Spike. I may even need him to come down here. Of course, Cordelia will have to drive.”

Spike brightened. “Oh, well, in the name of a crisis, eh? All gotta chip in, sick or not.”

Angel smiled faintly as he reached for the phone. Yeah, he understood. He was totally willing to admit that he’d change his tune, if it meant seeing Xander. Not that excuses or a crises would be needed to bring them together soon. Once Xander had worked his notice, he’d be leaving Sunnydale for good. And that meant everybody finding out and no more secrets. There was good and bad in that.

“Cordelia, I need to speak with Wesley.”

Xander jumped down from the attic space and headed towards Giles with his nose stuck firmly in a book. “Would this work?” he asked, turning the book around for Giles to see.

“Hm, a strengthening spell.”

“Yeah. I figured, why waste time looking for a different binding spell when we can just strengthen the one we have? What do you think? Would it work?”

Giles scratched his head and squinted at the text. When he looked back up it was with an expression of surprise and pride. “Yes, Xander. I do believe it would. Well done. It hadn’t even crossed my mind to try something like this.”

“Spike! Get off! No, Cordelia, you cannot speak to him. Just put Wesley on the damn phone!”

Xander tired to ignore the kerfuffle in the corner and concentrated on Giles instead. “It just made sense. Um, you have most of the ingredients here, but I’ll need to go out of town to get the…”

“Hog’s buttock. Yes. Send Spike.”

“Oi!”

“It wouldn’t kill you to help out, Spike.”

“I do bloody help out!”

“He does help out, Giles. Give him some credit.”

Giles relented. “I apologise; that was very rude of me. Would you please fetch me a Hog’s buttock?”

Spike nodded and sniggered. Buttock was a very funny word. “Alright.”

“And take the book and Willow with you. It must be a very specific hog’s buttock. The weight, size, texture – it’s very important indeed.”

Willow approached and took the book from Giles. Truth be told, she was a little upset at herself for not thinking of strengthening the current binding spell. Oh well, perhaps buttock hunting would take her mind off it.

“Where are they going?” Buffy asked as Willow and Spike left the shop.

“Shhh, they’re hunting buttocks, ahahahah,” Xander said in his best Elmer Fudd voice.

Buffy grinned and nudged Xander in the ribs. “Bummer.”

“Let’s hope they don’t get shit faced on the way.”

“Well, Spike is a bit of an ass-wipe.”

“Hey, less of the Spike-bashing. He’s a good guy.”

Buffy shook her head and hugged her friend. “Yeah, maybe. But he’s not as good as you, Xand.”

Xander looked helplessly at Angel, willing him to turn around and offer comfort with just a glance. Why did Buffy have to choose this day to be all huggy and best-friendy? It was more than a guilty, evil, boyfriend-stealing Xander could take.

Angel put down the phone and stepped around the counter. “I have to go back to LA.”

Definitely more than he could take.

TBC…